Partner’s Children: How To Behave?
The idea of the family has changed and diversified over the years. Among the many models, extended families are increasingly widespread, i.e. those in which one or both members of the couple have children from previous relationships. When in this situation, one of the most frequently asked questions is: “How should I behave with my partner’s children”?
It is undoubtedly a challenging situation, but it can also be a beautiful and enriching experience. To consider and value the positive side of the situation and avoid typical contrasts, we offer you some keys.
How to manage a relationship when she or he already has children?
Each relationship is a world unto itself, but when other people, such as children, come into the equation, the challenges you face are greater. However, with love, respect and dialogue on both sides, it is possible to enjoy a wonderful bond. What are the aspects to consider?
Accept the situation
If you are also a father or mother, you are already aware of what family life entails. But if your partner has children and you don’t, it may be harder to understand how this affects the relationship. Children need attention, care and presence.
A parent’s job is full time. Sometimes your partner won’t be free until the evening. His plans will have to include gaming activities and it could happen that, in the middle of the night, he finds himself a child in the Latvian.
Accepting that you are bonding not with one person, but with a family, is difficult but essential. You cannot complain about this, nor ask that your he or she neglect the children in favor of the couple relationship. Understanding and support are essential.
Establish limits
Engaging in a relationship with a person with children can make you feel in an uncertain and ambiguous position. For this reason, it is important to talk about it with your partner and clarify some points. For example, it will be good to understand what everyone expects from the relationship, what role they will play in the life of the children or how far the responsibilities go . Clarifying these aspects from the beginning allows you to avoid misunderstandings and reproaches at a later time.
Nurture the relationship
Although you are not the father or mother of the child, there will be many moments of sharing. It is likely that your partner or yourself will be absorbed in the demanding task of childcare, to the detriment of the couple’s relationship. Finding space and time to be alone and build emotional intimacy is a need and prevents dissatisfaction.
How to deal with partner’s children: 4 keys
It is normal that at first there are doubts about how to behave towards his or her children, and that the situation can create general friction. Here are 4 tips that can help make this experience as enjoyable as possible.
1. One step at a time
Adapting to this new family structure is difficult for everyone. For this reason it is necessary to give yourself some time. Look for a progressive approach to the children of your partner or partner. Start in a neutral space, and then add small moments of conviviality before fully sharing the house.
Likewise, don’t expect the relationship to go smoothly right away. If this happens to you, great! But the relationship is likely to be colder and more detached at first. It is quite natural to be patient with yourself and with others.
2. Be understanding with your partner’s children
Often, the children’s first reaction to the parent’s new partner is rejection. Don’t make it personal. Try to understand that for them it is a complicated circumstance, the loss of a known reality against a new situation in front of which they can feel fear and mistrust. Give them space, show yourself available but without being intrusive.
3. Build the relationship
Children are people and, like adults, the affinity can be greater or less. Looking for commonalities helps them build their bond. Perhaps a common interest can become a good topic of conversation. Or you can find a hobby that you both enjoy. Spending time together practicing activities helps build trust and intimacy.
4. Take your place
It is important to remember that you are not the father or mother of the child; authority and final decisions rest with the parents. However, you are one of the adults entrusted with the care of the child and, as a partner of the parent, you must demand respect.
Getting accepted by your partner’s children is a challenge
Dealing with your partner’s children requires patience, understanding, and perseverance. In any case, remember to prioritize yourself and respect your mental and emotional well-being. Always maintain fluid and assertive communication with your partner, seeking professional support if you feel you need it.
