Learning To Manage Emotions From An Early Age
From the age of 2, any child can be directed towards the path by which to learn to manage emotions. What a daunting task! If it is difficult for us adults to manage the emotions we feel in an intelligent way, how can we teach our children to control theirs?
First, ask yourself the following question: “How many times have my children seen me lose my temper in blocked traffic?”, “How many times have they seen me interrupt someone who was talking or have they heard me lie?”. Now let’s do the opposite: “How many times have I seen my children make fun of their sister or lie even knowing that it is wrong and that I disapprove?”.
In the case of both children and adults, the answers are the same: they let themselves be carried away by the emotion that pervaded them at that moment. Obviously, it will have happened to anyone at some point in their life, regardless of age. The important thing is to understand that learning to manage emotions is a fundamental part of mental and emotional balance.
Know, recognize and learn to manage emotions
Today, the educational process we experience with our children also requires us to help them learn to manage emotions. A child who manages his emotions improves many aspects of his life. For example.
- Will pay more attention.
- Study more and achieve more academic success.
- He is more likely to resolve conflicts with his peers.
- It performs better.
- He cares more for others.
How can this be done? The secret lies in knowing, recognizing and learning to manage emotions. In psychology, 6 basic emotions are identified: fear, surprise, aversion, happiness, sadness and anger. Still, some studies recognize many others, some up to over 300. But we won’t ask that much of our children. Let’s start with the basics.
Strategies for learning to manage emotions
Some of the strategies we can use to teach our children to manage emotions are:
Recognize emotions
At 5 years of age, a child must be able to communicate if he feels sad or angry, express it and act constructively. At 10-11, emotions are more complex, but he still has to learn to identify them. Help your children express themselves and recognize their emotions using expressions such as the following:
- “We had a great time at Grandma’s house. You were happy “.
- “I understand that you are sad because your sister doesn’t want to play with you.”
Clarify expectations
Avoid surprises that can trigger an angry reaction: it is good that your children know what awaits them, whether it is an activity they love or not. Also, be firm in your decisions. For example:
- “Let’s go to Aunt’s house because I have to talk to her. Bring games with you to entertain you while we converse ”.
- “I want you to know that in a few minutes we will be leaving the park, because we have to go home.”
Take a break
Prepare a quiet and comfortable space in the house, with cushions or decorative elements, where your child can retreat to think and relax when things don’t go as he hoped. That way he’ll know you care about his feelings.
Playing the game of self-control
To learn how to manage emotions, it is important to be patient and wait. During a walk, choose a word that will tell your children that they will have to stop and wait (they will have to remain motionless) until you say the word that will allow them to move again.
Develop empathy
Invite them to identify with others, to imagine living their situations. You will have to do the same. Questions are a great resource for them to reflect on their feelings and behavior. For example:
- “I know you are hungry and you want to eat. I also get annoyed when I’m hungry, but we have to wait for mum ”.
- “How do you think your sister feels after you yell at her like that?”
Reward and praise
Reinforce positive behaviors with affection. You don’t have to reward with objects or gifts, as long as the child understands that you notice when he checks himself and that you are proud of him. For example:
- “What a good guy, you didn’t interrupt me while I was talking on the phone. I appreciate that you waited for me ”.
- “Thanks for helping me set the table. Now you can choose what you want for a snack “.
Actions and consequences
Better to talk and come to terms than to respond with aggression or violence. If the child is misbehaving to someone, he must learn to apologize. Likewise, he must learn to forgive when they misbehave with him. Actions have consequences, so he must understand that wise decisions are best made. For example, you can tell him things like:
- “He’s still your friend, even if he didn’t lend you the toy.”
- “Even if he hit you, you can forgive him and continue to be his friend.”
Lead by example
When our children lose control, we need to show them that we are capable of controlling ourselves. No words will have more effect than what we demonstrate with our actions. If we shout, he will learn to respond by shouting. If we talk to them calmly and in a calm tone, they will learn that they can manage their anger at any time.
Practice together to learn how to manage emotions
Depending on the situations that bother him (if they haven’t lent him toys that aren’t his, for example), you can practice together on the best way to react. Also help him identify the wrong reaction. Practicing will help your children to better control themselves when a situation that hurts them arises.
Speak calmly
When they have a problem or a situation afflicts them, children must learn to speak without losing their temper. To express yourself without being overwhelmed or overwhelmed by emotions, our example is fundamental. We could tell them things like:
- “I’m also annoyed because I’m fighting with you; but calm down, calm down and then explain to me what happened ”.
- “I’m tired too, but we can rest a little and then continue”.
Hug them
Don’t leave them alone with their emotions. Show your children that you value their disappointments and frustrations. Hug them to make them feel understood and loved. That trust and security in your love will help them manage their emotions better.
Everything passes, you just have to learn to manage emotions
Negative feelings are painful, but they pass. Anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, everything that makes us feel bad doesn’t last forever. In front of them, we can say something like:
- “Now you are sick, but I guarantee you that in a few minutes you will be better”.
- “I understand that you feel annoyed, and even that you feel like crying, so do it. Afterwards you will feel good ”.
Devote time to your children
Your children need to know that there is a time of day that you will devote to listening to their problems and concerns, even when you are tired, overwhelmed or annoyed. You will have to overcome these difficulties and dedicate time to them. You might tell him:
- “Tell me how your day at school went.”
- “Did you have fun at your cousins’ house?”
Reflection: learning to manage emotions
Emotions brighten or darken the path of life. Helping our children to know and manage emotions is one of the greatest gifts we can give them, for their general well-being.
