Judging A Person Defines Yourself
Judging others is a very fashionable sport. Somehow, we all do it almost without realizing it. We are used to judging everything around us, because in this way, by attaching a label, we maintain a certain control over any aspect.
“This is fine; this is not good; I can trust this person; instead, it is better to move away from it … “
It is normal to fall into heuristics or stereotypes constructed in the past, before delving a little deeper into what is in front of us and making the effort to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
Obviously not everyone acts in this way, there are those who avoid making judgments because they do not want to be judged in turn by others and this is what should always be put into practice, to build a more harmonious and tolerant society. We invite you to reflect on this issue.
Judging: a double-edged sword we shouldn’t use
Just for today, don’t judge. Just for today, let your gaze fall on the world calmly and without prejudice and limit yourself to “being” and “letting be”.
It would undoubtedly be ideal if we all tried to practice this simple advice every day. This way, our relationships would be more respectful and there would be fewer quarrels.
The main problem is that our social brain often rests on the need to obtain quick information about things and people. Classify all information and stimuli into categories, so that they relate, in turn, to our personality and previous experiences.
- Let’s take an example: when you went to school, there was a teacher who treated you badly and who made your school years a real “hell”. Even today you remember her expression, her face, so much so that when you meet a woman who looks like her, you project a high rejection onto her.
- Many of our previous experiences and even some aspects of our personality make us label everything around us according to patterns that do not always correspond to reality.
For this reason, the act of “not judging”, of approaching people without issuing a hasty judgment requires, above all, great calm.
It forces us to check that “automatic button” that is activated in our brain when it is time to categorize everything we see into stereotypes.
Be wise: if you judge, you are also judging yourself
If you avoid relating to your neighbors because they are from another country or from another culture, in reality every judgment you make is defining you. He calls you racist and closed-minded people.
The man who judges a woman by the height of her skirt is judging himself, her machismo.
- Whenever we pass judgment on someone, it would be advisable to do a reflection exercise: why do I think this? Why do I say, for example, that I dislike that guy just because he has ripped jeans and tattoos?
- Be wise, act with calm, measure and balance and try to see things in a neutral way until you experience them on your skin, until you know every detail and every aspect to judge with more certainty. Never before.
Don’t rely on clichés when judging, rely on reality
It is important to emphasize that we all have the full right to uphold and defend our own judgments about anything that concerns us. Judgments, however, should be based on reality, never on clichés or banalities.
- When you know a person deeply, you have at your disposal that wisdom that gives you only the experience to decide whether you like this person or not, whether or not it corresponds to your expectations.
- It should be borne in mind that those who rely only on clichés when it comes to judgment are missing out on the wonderful things in life.
- If you find a co-worker unpleasant just because of their looks, you may be missing out on meeting someone great.
- Anyone who judges a country or a certain city as dirty, dangerous or not very modern, is likely to be missing out on the best experience of their life by denying that they know a place that could turn out to be wonderful if only they looked at it with a free mind, without prejudice.
The best things, the best people, are sometimes hidden by armor so solid that it confuses us. Only those who approach without judging and with an open heart will be worthy of knowing the truly exciting aspects that those armors hide.
