Help Your Child Distinguish A True Friend
Parents are a child’s first friend. They share games and experiences, but it is natural that as they grow up they establish new relationships: schoolmates, children from the neighborhood, peers in the family. How to help him distinguish a true friend and live an emotional experience of growth?
The challenge begins around the fourth, fifth year of age, when the child begins to develop one of the most important social skills: learning to have real friends and to keep them. The next step will be learning to recognize when a friendship is becoming a source of pain or worry.
Teaching him the value of friendship from an early age is one of the important tasks of a parent. Especially if we want the bonds of friendship to have the potential to make him happy.
Here’s how to help your child tell a true friend.
Help your child distinguish a true friend
It may seem obvious to think that friendship should be a positive experience. But we know that this is not always the case, and children need to understand this. If they don’t live it this way, something is wrong.
Little ones need to learn early to understand who a true friend is and that friendship is one of the ways to express affection.
How to distinguish a true friend?
We cannot choose the friendships of our children. Especially in the teenage years, when they share all sorts of interests with friends and become the most important figures in their life.
What we can do, however, is to guide them so that they know how to build relationships of value, in which respect and sincerity prevail.
Try to propose to your child, without insisting too much, to check if his friendships meet the following requirements. It is a way to distinguish, on their own, sincere friends from those who are not so much.
A good friend…
- He is happy with your successes and supports you in difficult times. Rejoice when you get the vote you were hoping for or when you score a goal. He is close to you if something bothers you and encourages you.
- It helps you if you need it.
- He doesn’t treat you badly. He’s kind, he doesn’t ridicule you, and he doesn’t ridicule your ideas.
- He is honest. He sincerely tells you what he thinks and does not change character when you least expect it.
- He keeps himself out of conflict and doesn’t laugh at others.
- It is loyal and constant. Even if you fight, you know you won’t lose his friendship.
- He laughs and has fun with you.
- He is not jealous of other friends. Friendships that don’t admit other people tend to be toxic.
- Respect your ideas and let you speak. Even if he disagrees, he values your values.
- It doesn’t force you to do what you don’t want. If you don’t want to go to a party, consume alcohol or drugs, respect your decisions without judging yourself.
Your child can be sure that if at least one friend meets half of these requirements, he or she is facing an important friendship relationship.
How to help your child overcome toxic friendships
Every afternoon, after returning from school, Marina locks herself in her room. Her mother knows it’s a way to release tension from her best friend’s behavior.
One day an inseparable friend, the next day he ignores her and excludes her from the group. Marina doesn’t know what to think of a friend she loves and hates at the same time. This is a normal reaction.
As in any relationship, communication is important. To help your child manage and overcome a toxic friendship, communication is the key. First, listen to it patiently. Go on the emotional journey with him that makes him feel in conflict. Expressing emotions is already a liberating gesture.
Make him understand your worth
Help your child maintain self-esteem. One of the ways is to stimulate him to become passionate about other activities that allow him to join other groups of friends.
Or, encourage him to offer his friendship to other classmates, among whom he can find real friends.
Most importantly, we need to help our children overcome the challenge of dealing with a negative friendship.
We must guide them so that they learn to orient themselves in the relationships they weave. This will help them gain stability and better cope with the problems of adolescence.
Being a good friend to know how to tell a true friend
The American poet and philosopher Ralph W. Emerson used to say that the only way to have a good friend is to be one. It is a good starting point for helping your child distinguish a true friend.
If you treat others well, show the qualities of a true friend and are fair, the best people are attracted. Hence, it is very likely that a good friend will also attract himself to himself.
Children who receive attention and guidance from parents are more likely to identify sincere friendships and build fireproof relationships filled with rewarding experiences.
