Healthy Competition Among Children: How To Transmit It?
Educating children about the value of healthy competition can seem like a difficult task, so we offer you some ideas that may prove useful. Don’t miss this article!
Competition is an integral part of our society and is generally encouraged within the family as well. What happens, though, when a child stops getting pleasure from his extracurricular and sporting activities, and even from playing? Find out about this and more by reading the following lines.
How to convey the value of healthy competition to children
Before going into the subject, let’s try to define “competition”. We could say that it corresponds to the desire to reach a goal that goes beyond one’s current limits. Competition, therefore, is not synonymous with “victory” or “overcoming others”, but coincides with personal improvement.
healthy competition vs toxic competition
A good player accepts wins and losses. He is aware that losing is part of the learning and improvement process and that in the future it will be a victory.
A player animated by a toxic competition, on the other hand, is concerned only with beating the others. For him, satisfaction is associated only with the superiority obtained and he feels that losing offers him nothing but frustration and unpleasant emotions.
What do you want for your children? We are confident that you will choose the first option. A good player does not only enjoy the result, but the road traveled. This is because the result is not the most important aspect.
When the child focuses only on the result, when he only cares about winning, a toxic dynamic is established that prevents growth, fun and pleasure. It is therefore important to convey the value of healthy competition in children.
Ideas to encourage healthy competition between children
The first step is to talk to your children. Children must understand that it is not the final result that counts, but the personal effort to reach the goal. Leading by example is essential. If you are a healthy player yourself, the chances that your children are healthy too.
Sit down with your children and talk to them. Explain to them that we are destined to win and lose at different times; tell some experiences that you have lived in first person and leave room for the expression of feelings. Children need to know that it is normal to feel frustrated because they are not lost. However, these sensations don’t have to spoil the fun.
In the following lines we will look at some ideas for encouraging healthy competition that will help your children to be loyal players.
1. Personal goals
A good player has a clear goal. However, we often set the wrong goals for ourselves. Rather than being stimulated by the idea of victory, we will have to give way to the desire to play to our best.
This little change of perspective frees the child from the guilt he might feel if he doesn’t win. Let’s look at an example: If your kids are in a run, the goal might be to run faster, rather than outrun all the other kids.
2. The importance of commitment
In every aspect of life, what matters most is giving your best. Personal commitment is more important than victory – this is what you should emphasize to your children.
If they have worked to their best, they will undoubtedly have outdone themselves! The real triumph is just that: to be a little better every day, even if there is someone else who can overcome us.
3. Making mistakes you learn
Surely you will remember that your parents told you that mistakes help you to learn. And it’s really true! In order to move forward, your children need to make mistakes, just like we do. Whoever does not make mistakes does not improve.
4. Focus on yourself
In order for your children to enjoy their activities, they must take their eyes off the “reward”. The prize should not be winning, but having fun and learning. Make sure that your children live every experience to the fullest: only in this way will they be able to enjoy it and experience competitiveness in a healthy way.
5. Show your children that you are proud of them
Children need the unconditional support of their parents. It is important for them to know that they are supported and loved regardless of the results achieved; therefore that you are proud of them for their commitment and tenacity.
Don’t be parents screaming from the stadium bleachers to encourage their children to score a goal. Avoid making children feel pressured. Remember that for children to be loyal players, you must be too!
